?

Log in

entries friends calendar profile Myspace
So the lion fell in love with the lamb
What a stupid lamb. What a sick masochistic lion.
rhapsodylime
So this morning before work I woke up at the crack of dawn to experience something I've waited 6+ years for. Today I finally got to meet the lovely Sarah J Maas! sjmaas She was amazingly nice and so beautiful! I was super excited to finally get my copy of Throne of Glass signed! Got a copy signed for Amanda too! 




Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
sjmaas is hosting a giveaway for a signed copy of YOU WISH by Mandy Hubbard on her LJ. Totally cool. I read Prada & Prejudice and I loved it. YOU WISH seems totally cool!
Leave a comment
rhapsodylime

Happy birthday to me.... Second year in a row I've celebrated without Amanda around...

Dinner should be fun tonight. Billy, my new boyfriend, is coming up for dinner with my mom, brother, sister and I. No Cheesecake Factory, that place is cursed! Also, no Dad. He's out of town, so I don't have to worry about that one either.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Tags:
Current Location: US, Tennessee, Williamson, Nolensville, Vanleer Ct

2 comments or Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
I just puked a little in my mouth.... I was reading the journal entries of Matt aka kapton_krypton . Yeah livejournal world, do you remember Matt? Kill me. -.- Anyway, reading through those entries made me puke a little in my mouth.

EDIT: Apparently it's read through ex-boyfriends old livejournals day. Just hit Dustin's @ dye2playguitar That made me want to puke too....


generalpenguin 
saaocelot 
juliet_of_time daphnehead (which are both mine)
talonted89 (this one made me gag the most)
 And a bunch of other ones.
Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
I STHU MYT ON BEUHL ENSFTMRH I WET MIM WDEPNIO RAT U EEIA CIWU E
TIISJ U IMVBNA LXAN VA SIRN RGTM UTTF EU YY LAN GENHLE OUH HESA YO TTOBY CDAN IL AWS T TOT TAR OINAOTT LOC W NITHH FTI NT GDES NL H LT OA DCHAE FHOD HEOSEEYEO EU NW AIVF RAN TATN TDDW NF XLTHNME AA TW HTTOOI AH IT PDFAN AS CNII EIOT E NYAC HL IRT O SOTKKTRRKW SRITAE AWO HTMMTENHE ENA AEWHNSIOM EEUEH OOI FAO NNAI E SENNMW XCTAR WNOL WT DLL WT EADE APH HTIHTR LHT I IL IOM NEIN LA IHTE HE YIONTFS PODR NTA S NEMH ET WMSE YIHWT IW TSIIGRI ACROBTEHN EOI JHH F NDTE GSOU UEE DODSNOU AERW OO MHAMSL TP TP OOD NSTF O HID ITRM TDTOOEUFE

"But those that understood him smiled at one another, and shook their heads; but for mine own part, it was Greek to me. (Julius Caesar, Act II, Scene II)" - William Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)


P.S. Amanda, please. I am reaching out in the only way I have. I know you still visit my journal. The new statistics feature shows it. Please. I miss you. I am so very sorry. I wish there was another way for me to reach out to you, but there isn't. I can't hold on for much longer. You know how stubborn I can be, and how tightly I can hold on to something when there isn't the slightest bit of hope. You saw it first hand with Kevin. But I'm telling you this now. I don't have the strength to cling to a friendship that doesn't exist anymore. You decided to leave my life and soon I'm going to accept that. So I am begging you, if you ever intend to forgive me and return to my life, please do it soon. Otherwise, I'm giving up and there won't be anything left to come back to. (No I'm not suicidal, I'm just talking about a friendship.) Love you, please forgive me.

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful

Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
I miss Amanda. She's my best friend. She knows me better then anyone. I need someone to talk to.... I have no one to talk to anymore....
Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
I love this song... It has so many meanings to me and it pretty much says everything I can't...


Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
On nights like this, when it's quiet, and I have nothing to do and I wonder what I ever did with all of my time... That's when I miss her most. That's when I bring up the chat logs and read them for hours and cry the entire time and then proceed to cry myself to sleep. It sucks losing your best friend. She knew me better that I've ever known myself. Maybe that's why she knew I wasn't worth it....
Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
Miss you.
Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
I'm not changing his screen name because i want everyone to know he's an asshole! FUCK YOU BILLY!


Illuminatus05: Frank is dead Ashleigh. And if not now, he will be. The Airforce is killing the man you loved. He doesn't exist anymore. Soon he will be an order-taking drone.
CntryPrincess16: no he won't
Illuminatus05: Yes, he will. Nobody survives what they put you through. Not even somebody as strong-willed as Frank.
Illuminatus05: The atmosphere makes it impossible
CntryPrincess16: he won't turn into that!
Illuminatus05: It's torture.
Illuminatus05: He'll be beaten into a shell.
Illuminatus05: Hammered.
CntryPrincess16: i won't let him!
Illuminatus05: He will no longer be the one you loved Ashleigh. You have to let him go.
CntryPrincess16: NO!
CntryPrincess16: SCREW YOU!
Illuminatus05: Ashleigh. I'm trying to help.
CntryPrincess16: NO!
CntryPrincess16: YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO NOW LOVE HIM!
CntryPrincess16: SCREW YOU TO HELL!
Illuminatus05: Uh. He's a drone. Who would love that?
Illuminatus05: He's not the one you cared for.
CntryPrincess16: He's not!
CntryPrincess16: He never will be!
CntryPrincess16: I won't let him!
Illuminatus05: Yes Ashleigh. He's gone.
CntryPrincess16: NO!
Illuminatus05: Let him go.
Illuminatus05: You deserve better than this
CntryPrincess16: you stay the hell away from him
Illuminatus05: Clearly
CntryPrincess16: me*
Illuminatus05: Interesting.
CntryPrincess16: i don't want to talk to you anymore
CntryPrincess16: he won't turn into that
CntryPrincess16: he won't
Illuminatus05: This is not a rose-colored world. The Military kills good men. Sometimes it turns them into better men. But in reality, many of them become statistics.
Illuminatus05: Harsh reality Ashleigh.
Illuminatus05: You need to let him go.
Illuminatus05: You deserve better than all those damn tears you've shed for him.
CntryPrincess16: you need to shut the hell up
Illuminatus05: I need to keep talking and slap you as hard as my words will let me.
CntryPrincess16: just because you're aloen doesn't mean everyone else has to be!
Illuminatus05: I'm trying to get you un-hung up on this guy so you don't have to be alone.
Illuminatus05: You're misinterpreting my intent.
CntryPrincess16: I'm not going to be alone
CntryPrincess16: he's going to come back to me
Illuminatus05: No you most certainly will not, provided you can let him go.
Illuminatus05: He's never coming back to you, Ashleigh.
CntryPrincess16: yes he is!
Illuminatus05: No Ashleigh. He's never coming back.
CntryPrincess16: yes@
CntryPrincess16: he is@!
Illuminatus05: You're in denial.
CntryPrincess16: he's coming back for thanksgiving
Illuminatus05: If he comes back it's for his family, not you.
CntryPrincess16: and christmas
Illuminatus05: You can hate me as much as you want. I'm right.
CntryPrincess16: no you're not!
Illuminatus05: You deserve better.
CntryPrincess16: and you deserve to die
Illuminatus05: Point taken. Yes. But you deserve more than persisting pain.
Illuminatus05: Which, last I checked, is all he seems to be causing you.
CntryPrincess16: he loves me!
CntryPrincess16: he does!
Illuminatus05: Love is supposed to make people happy. Not this.
CntryPrincess16: Love is about sticking through it all!
Illuminatus05: Use your logic to analyze this. He doesn't love you Ashleigh.
CntryPrincess16: The happy and the hurt!
Illuminatus05: If he did, he wouldn't let you suffer like this.
CntryPrincess16: But you wouldn't know that because you've never been in love!
Illuminatus05: Perhaps not, but I can figure out what love ISN'T.
CntryPrincess16: Not you can't!
CntryPrincess16: He will come back to me
CntryPrincess16: he loves me
Illuminatus05: If I was a girl I'd slap you now, grab you by the sides of your face, look right into your eyes, and scream at you. He's not coming back for you.
Illuminatus05: He does not love you.
CntryPrincess16: YES HE DOES!
Illuminatus05: And if he did, he'd want you to be happy and get over him.
CntryPrincess16: YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LOVE BECAUSE WHO WOULD LOVE YOU?!
Illuminatus05: Certainly not myself.
CntryPrincess16: THEN SHUT UP!
CntryPrincess16: He loves me!
CntryPrincess16: He will come back!
Illuminatus05: You're behaving like a child.
CntryPrincess16: And you're an asshole!
Illuminatus05: I'm an asshole who is trying to slap you back to reality.
CntryPrincess16: I am in reality!
Illuminatus05: To realize there are more fish than Frank.
CntryPrincess16: I love Frank!
CntryPrincess16: and he loves me!
Illuminatus05: But it's not mutual love Ashleigh and you know that.
Illuminatus05: On some level you do.
CntryPrincess16: SCREW YOU!
CntryPrincess16: NO I DON'T!
CntryPrincess16: HE LOVES ME!
Illuminatus05: He does not.
CntryPrincess16: YOU DON'T KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH THEN!
CntryPrincess16: You didn't see his eyes when he looked into mine!
Illuminatus05: I've known him for 4 years.
Illuminatus05: Perhaps I don't know him as well as I'd like to.
CntryPrincess16: You don't know!
Illuminatus05: But I know people. People who love people don't let people suffer needlessly.
CntryPrincess16: I'm not suffereing!
Illuminatus05: Yes. You are. The tears you've cried, the countless nights you've screamed how you hate yourself and you want to die
Illuminatus05: You deserve to die
Illuminatus05: Those
Illuminatus05: That's suffering.
Illuminatus05: Needless suffering.
CntryPrincess16: No it's not!
CntryPrincess16: HE WILL COME BACK!
Illuminatus05: He will come back. But not for you.
CntryPrincess16: HE WILL COME BACK FOR ME!
Illuminatus05: He'll make time for you, I don't doubt it. But you're not his priority.
Illuminatus05: Frank is in the military now. People are devices to him.
Illuminatus05: He ranks them according to importance
CntryPrincess16: I don't need to be his priority!
Illuminatus05: Care to guess where you lie?
CntryPrincess16: I want him to live his dream!
CntryPrincess16: He cried billy!
CntryPrincess16: FRANK CRIED WHEN WE BROKE UP!
CntryPrincess16: FRANK!
CntryPrincess16: The guy with no tear ducts!
CntryPrincess16: CRIED!
Illuminatus05: You're going to make me say something which is defeating my point.
CntryPrincess16: SAY IT!
Illuminatus05: Of course he loves you on some level. I said those things about him not loving you in an effort to harden your heart. In reality he loves you enough that he wants you to move on.
CntryPrincess16: No he doesn't
Illuminatus05: Because no, he doesn't want you to suffer anymore.
CntryPrincess16: he wants me to wait for him
Illuminatus05: No, he doesn't.
Illuminatus05: And that is reality.
CntryPrincess16: deep down he does but he won't admit it
Illuminatus05: Deep down he knows you're too good for him
Illuminatus05: And that he'll never
Illuminatus05: EVER
Illuminatus05: be able to give you what you deserve
Illuminatus05: because yes
CntryPrincess16: YES HE WILL!
Illuminatus05: his career is his life
CntryPrincess16: Just loving him is what I deserve!
Illuminatus05: You deserve someone who can love you back.
Illuminatus05: He CAN'T.
CntryPrincess16: HE DOES LOVE ME BACK!
Illuminatus05: Not the way you need
Illuminatus05: He can only love you enough to push you away so he can't hurt you
Illuminatus05: But he is anyway.
Illuminatus05: His whole point is defeated.
CntryPrincess16 wants to directly connect.
Illuminatus05 is now directly connected.
CntryPrincess16:
CntryPrincess16: CAN YOU HONESTLY LOOK AT THAT PICTURE AND SAY WE'RE NOT IN LOVE?!
Illuminatus05: Am I supposed to look at this image and see chemistry? I couldn't possibly. After all, I've never "been in love"
CntryPrincess16: Screw you
Illuminatus05: Yes. I can.
CntryPrincess16: stay the hell away from me
Illuminatus05: I'm only repeating your words.
Illuminatus05: I see a pose, done specifically for a picture.\
CntryPrincess16: i don't want to talk to you...ever again
Illuminatus05: When you see the reason in my words, you will understand I tried to help.
CntryPrincess16: i will never see the reason of your words
CntryPrincess16: except that you are a lonely asshole who wants to hurt everyone else!
CntryPrincess16: I HATE YOU!
Illuminatus05: Very well. That's horribly unfortunate.
Illuminatus05: Please take care.
Illuminatus05: Be safe.
CntryPrincess16: you've hurt me more than he ever has
Illuminatus05: And always do the right thing.
Illuminatus05: Good Night.


He was supposted to be one of my best friends.....

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: crushed crushed
Current Music: If I'm Not In Love - Faith Hill

Leave a comment
rhapsodylime
2 comments or Leave a comment